Think you can’t “pull it off”? Think again.
If you’ve ever uttered the phrase - “I love it on (insert name of friend, family member, favourite blogger or aspirational celebrity), but I couldn’t pull it off” - this post is for you. Brace yourself, it’s a long one, but I promise there’s a light of new perspective at the end of this tunnel.
As someone who unabashedly wears my fashion heart on my sleeve, I’ve earned somewhat of a reputation within my circle as being “stylish” (I use quotations to intentionally emphasize the subjectivity of this adjective). I embrace this wholeheartedly (we all have our crosses to bare) and am delighted when friends solicit my sartorial advice.
What doesn’t delight me? When people openly comment on an outfit element they admire - “I love that pleated skirt”. “Those leather pants are beautiful” (such a nice compliment, thank you) - then follow it up with, “but I could never pull it/them off”.
Say what?! This reaction bothers me but for a few reasons:
It’s basically textbook self-deprecation.
Your compliment was insincere (not that I care about an unsolicited option but why bother lying?).
It’s rooted (I believe) in a lack of confidence when it comes to personal style.
Let’s unpack this.
I adamantly believe that anyone can “pull off” anything because at its core, the notion of pulling something off is a state of mind. That’s right. You’re in control of what you pull off. After all, this blog is all about breaking so-called rules, so consider “you have to be stylish to pull off __” our latest venture into fashion contrarianism.
Step one: can we agree to the distinction between a piece of clothing or an accessory not fitting your personal style (totally fair), and not quite knowing how to incorporate said item into your repertoire? Thank. You. Very. Much.
As far as the former, I respect this element of the editing process. Knowing what does and doesn’t jive with your style is important.
And to address the latter, I’m offering some advice to reframe your thinking next time you see someone rocking something you truly admire. Rather than dismissing an item, here are some tips to understand how to make it work for you.
Do it in a Familiar colour
Think of your “safety blanket” colour. Maybe it’s black? Whatever colour makes you feel most comfortable and confident, and that works most seamlessly with the majority of your clothes is where you should start. A pair of coral culottes (for example) will feel much more intimidating than a pair in navy.
do it in a go-to SILHOUETTE
This tip is especially helpful when you’re looking to embrace patterns, prints, and/or specific fabrics. Say you’re finding yourself drawn to polka dots but you can’t shake the fear of looking a little too “50’s retro”. Instead of diving head first with an A-line skirt, try incorporating the print on a simple silk camisole or button down blouse - a shape or silhouette you already wear regularly.
warm up to it GRADUALLY
Full disclosure: I’ve given plenty of clothing items a “house wear only” trial run before committing to keeping them. Sometimes it’s a matter of seeing yourself in an item that’s outside your comfort zone inside your comfort zone (home sweet home). Test driving an outfit while performing a mundane task (vacuuming maybe) can help you get used to the way it feels as you move around and catching glimpses of yourself in the mirror will help you start to recognize yourself with this new look. After a few times it won’t feel so foreign (unless of course it doesn’t, in which case take that as a sign it doesn’t fit your personal style as we noted above).
Next time you admire an outfit on someone else, it’s my hope you can find a way to take what you love about it and “pull it off” using these tips.
XO
